Quotes about society and manners

The soul selects her own society

Society in every state is a blessing, but government even in its best state is but a necessary evil

Politeness of mind consists in thinking chaste and refined thoughts.

Conceit causes more conversation than wit.

You can force anything on society so long as it has no sequel.

A man’s manners are the mirror in which he shows his portrait.

Contradiction and flattery make, both of them, bad conversation.

There is no such thing as “the Queen’s English.” The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares!

The well-bred contradict other people. The wise contradict themselves.

ADMIRATION, n. Our polite recognition of another’s resemblance to ourselves.

ALONE, adj. In bad company.

CONGRATULATION, n. The civility of envy.

CONVERSATION, n. A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor.

DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O’Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed.

FASHION, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.

GENTEEL, adj. Refined, after the fashion of a gent.

MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.

MONEY, n. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it. An evidence of culture and a passport to polite society. Supportable property.

POLITENESS, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.

POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice. As compared with the statesman, he suffers the disadvantage of being alive.

URBANITY, n. The kind of civility that urban observers ascribe to dwellers in all cities but New York. Its commonest expression is heard in the words, “I beg your pardon,” and it is not inconsistent with disregard of the rights of others.

USAGE, n. The First Person of the literary Trinity, the Second and Third being Custom and Conventionality. Imbued with a decent reverence for this Holy Triad an industrious writer may hope to produce books that will live as long as the fashion.

The aversion to lying is often a hidden ambition to render our words credible and weighty, and to attach a religious aspect to our conversation.

Men would not live long in society were they not the dupes of each other.

If it was not for the company of fools, a witty man would often be greatly at a loss.

There are persons whose only merit consists in saying and doing stupid things at the right time, and who ruin all if they change their manners.

Civility is but a desire to receive civility, and to be esteemed polite.

It is as proper to be boastful alone as it is ridiculous to be so in company.

To rejoice on account of praise is in many cases merely politeness of heart—and the very opposite of vanity of spirit.

The one seeks an accoucheur for his thoughts, the other seeks some one whom he can assist: a good conversation thus originates.

Every man must think after his own fashion; for on his own path he finds a truth, or a kind of truth, which helps him through life. But he must not give himself the rein; he must control himself; mere naked instinct does not become him.

Justice insists on obligation, law on decorum. Justice weighs and decides, law superintends and orders. Justice refers to the individual, law to society.

For the man of the world a collection of anecdotes and maxims is of the greatest value, if he knows how to intersperse the one in his conversation at fitting moments, and remember the other when a case arises for their application.

Of the best society it used to be said: their speech instructs the mind, and their silence the feelings.

What we call conduct and good manners obtains for us that which otherwise is to be obtained only by force, or not even by force.

How can the character, the peculiar nature of a man, be compatible with good manners?

It is through his good manners that a man’s peculiar nature should be made all the more conspicuous. Every one likes distinction, but it should not be disagreeable.

The most privileged position, in life as in society, is that of an educated soldier. Rough warriors, at any rate, remain true to their character, and as great strength is usually the cover for good nature, we get on with them at need.

There is no outward sign of politeness that will be found to lack some deep moral foundation. The right kind of education would be that which conveyed the sign and the foundation at the same time.

There is a politeness of the heart, and it is allied to love. It produces the most agreeable politeness of outward demeanour.

No one would speak much in society if he were aware how often we misunderstand others.

The pleasantest society is that in which there exists a genial deference amongst the members one towards another.

It does not become an old man to run after the fashion, either in thought or in dress. But he must know where he is, and what the others are aiming at.

Spirit is now a very fashionable word: to act with spirit, to speak with spirit, means only, to act rashly, and to talk indiscreetly. An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions: he is neither hot nor timid.

Ceremony is necessary in courts, as the outwork and defence of manners.

A man’s own good breeding is his best security against other people’s ill-manners.